Those who don't know history are doomed to repeat it. Too bad it's usually boring as sh*t. Enter The Captain, the ultimate storyteller who brings history to life (and to your life) in this hilarious, intelligent, brutally honest, and crude compendium to events that happened before any of us were born.

The entries in this compulsively readable book bridge past and present with topics like getting ghosted, handling haters, and why dog owners rule (sorry, cat people). Along the way you'll get a glimpse of Edith Wharton's sex life, dating rituals in Ancient Greece, catfishing in 500 BC, medieval flirting techniques, and squad goals from Catherine the Great.

You'll learn why losing yourself in a relationship will make you crazy--like Joanna of Castile, who went from accomplished badass to Joanna the Mad after obsessing over a guy known as Philip the Handsome. You'll discover how Resting Bitch Face has been embraced throughout history (so wear it proudly). And you'll see why it's never a good idea to f*ck with powerful women--from pirate queens to diehard suffragettes to Cleo-f*cking-patra.

People in the past were just like us--so learn from life's losers and emulate the badasses. The Captain shows you how.

Product specifications

Category Print Books

Genre Humor & comedy

Target audience Adults

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Tormino B.V.

Empresa holandesa
Pletterij 35 F, 2211 JT Noordwijkerhout

Note: pickup or visiting not possible

Since 2015

Trusted Dutch online store since 2015

980,000+ products

One of the largest assortments in Europe with fast delivery

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Estimated shipping date indicated on each product
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The estimated shipping date is stated directly on each product next to the order button. As soon as your parcel leaves our central warehouse in the Netherlands, you will receive a tracking link. Delivery takes on average 1 to 4 business days.

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We charge transparent flat shipping rates per order: € 6.95 for the Netherlands, Belgium, and Luxembourg; € 7.95 for Germany and Denmark; and € 9.95 for France, Spain, Italy, and Finland. View our shipping table for all other destinations.

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Did your order arrive damaged or defective? Please report this within 48 hours of delivery via our contact page with clear photos of the outer box, shipping label, and damaged product. Our support team will resolve it right away with a replacement or refund.

Tormino magazijn interieur met verzendstation in Nederland

Since 2015 • Central warehouse in the Netherlands

About Tormino

Your trusted European e-commerce partner

Founded in 2015, Tormino offers over 980,000 products across Europe. Orders are carefully packaged and shipped directly from our central warehouse in the Netherlands.

Central warehouse & mailing address Tormino B.V.
Pletterij 35 F
2211 JT Noordwijkerhout, The Netherlands Note: pickup or in-person visits not possible

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